Ode to Dystopian Lit

I was going to make a speech, but speaking in front of people makes me insanely nervous, so I shan't. which is oldspeak for shall not. So here is a poem for the best English class that has ever existed on this planet. or any other planet.

Dear Dystopian Lit,

How do I describe thee?

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day

JK LAWLS

You are nothing like a summer's day.

Because dystopian lit is like a raging hurricane

Sometimes we're all calm and cooperative

Developing the unity of the commune

Sometimes we freak out and yell at each other

and roll our eyes and get all riled up

about stuff that we're not even allowed to talk about in other classes.

All of our plans,

to run screaming into Room 101 saying "SHE DID IT! TAKE HER!"

to planning our Alpacalypse party

and making awesome T-shirts to celebrate

to the neutral side of the room

to Dex's disappearance and our prediction that he turned capitalist.

From arguments about whether or not we would eat the cat

to Saunders' drowning baby impersonation

to watching YouTube Videos in class:
Where you at BALAKAY

And Kittens: Inspired by kittens

from haunted bathroom stalls

to jokes that we maybe shouldn't have told.

from the R-rated movies that haven't landed us in the Doings

YET.

Those awkward moments of watching Idiocracy

and wondering if we are on the Truman Show

and laughing at Children of Men,

even though it's not funny.

Sharing Ben's status updates,

we're happy he's not dead

and coloring posters and writing sex all over the board.

Stefani's mysterious tardies

and Dex and Jonny's anarchist plots,

Katie's weird movie-viewing positions

and Pac-Man in Vegas.

The ceremony is awks to the max

and some things in life are like totes null.

Needless to say it's been an interesting semester.

Let's get emotional for second.

Grab a tissue so you can wipe your tears

We won't see each other for the rest of the year.

But in case we do, passing in the halls

Please wave, say hi, I'll miss you all.

If you think about it,

we were all like guinea pigs in this big experiment called Dystopian Lit.

To be honest, I don't know exactly what I'll do next semester without ya'll.

I won't have anyone to argue with

or to dicuss our impending doom as a society of capitalists.

So as we are about to part our separate ways,

I just want you to know:

Dystopian lit was great

Our bond was true

I'm just really glad

I got to spend it with you (guys).



Soooooo that was long and I'm hoping you read it because it was, if I do say so myself, a masterpiece in poetry. I may copyright it.

But really- as Fall Out Boy sings, "Thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great." PAUSE.

I revise that and say, "Thanks for memories, they were the freakin best I've ever had."